Cold Potato Beautiful Church
This cute little pocket-sized book of illustrated short stories by Mike Sammy will surprise and delight, while inspiring thoughts about the human predicament.
“A NO-HOLDS-BARRED MASTERWORK”
“Sammy writes with an authority that outshines that of his contemporaries. No question, this is the definitive text on the subject. It redefines the category . . . a no-holds-barred masterwork.”
– Garner Quain
“I CAN FEEL AND SMELL IT”
“This lonely mix of humility and bemusement features a sharp and visceral commentary on universal humanity . . . full of poo and pee and fear and dread and rage . . . I can feel and smell it.”
– Tara Samuel
“A COMPLETE AND UTTER WASTE OF TIME”
“It is said that half a good book is better than none at all. Unfortunately this is neither. Sammy continues to disappoint and frustrate with yet another ill-advised and lackluster foray into the literary arts. A complete and utter waste of time.”
– Michael Honeyman
A Pile of Poo
His horse came in last. Howard Peeble wasn’t surprised. In fact, stepping in a big pile of poo was oddly comforting.
His eyes met with those of a beautiful 1920s woman. She saw deep into him and loved him. Howard Peeble felt the warmth of the poo in which he was standing. The beautiful 1920s woman approached with a cool saunter.
“Looks like you could use a drink”, she said.
Howard Peeble shifted his weight, and the poo made an ugly sound.
“I like poo”, he said. He didn’t really like poo. He said this because of a strange nervous disorder that can cause him to say the worst thing possible in an awkward situation. One time he was at a funeral and he said, “I’m glad she’s dead”.
The beautiful 1920s woman somehow knew. She knew his whole life and she knew that he didn’t really like poo. She took his losing ticket and let it fall to the floor. She held his hand and kissed it. His walls came down and he showed her everything. He opened his heart and felt safe.
He was on top of the world, in a pile of poo.
Reader Submissions
At the end of a few of the stories in Cold Potato Beautiful Church, the reader is invited to submit his or her own version, ending, or elaboration. You can click here to enjoy some reader submissions.